Smeeny in the Wild: Vlog 39

A little heart to heart…learning to let go

This summer for me has been a journey of self-reflection and creating more alignment in my life and business.  We often fall into comfort zones of how we do things, our habits and routines, or even our own identities. I've had some big realizations this summer and I hope that by sharing my journey with you, you feel less alone on yours too.

So here it is…I'm finally letting go of something that I've been needing to for awhile now…

June and July left me feeling overwhelmed trying to juggle my second business (that I only do from June-August) with things I need to do in Smeeny Made Wild. If you didn't know, I spent 10 years working as a restaurant chef before leaving the restaurant world to work on a farm after reaching a state of deep burnout. From that space in 2018, I started what was then Smeeny Beanie Knits and a small farm-to-table private chef business called Wilderbean Provisions. 

 As Smeeny has grown, I put more and more boundaries around Wilderbean Provisions and limited the time I spent on that business. I was trying to protect myself from getting to the point of burnout again and for the last few years, have only taken a couple of clients per month during the summer months. This allowed me to focus on Smeeny for the rest of the year, but this summer…even that felt like too much and I started feeling those twinges of burnout sneaking in. Food and cooking has always been a part of my identity and something that I spent most of my life pursuing. It's something that I'm still passionate about and love deeply, but now it's keeping me from a bigger dream and vision. 

There are so many exciting things happening in Smeeny that I feel called to right now and this summer has been a lesson in checking in and redefining what my work life needs to look like.

So after this season of cooking, I'm letting Wilderbean Provisions go…

letting go to create space for who you've become

As much as I've considered Smeeny my full time business for the last 5 years, I've held onto Wilderbean as a side hustle because I couldn't let that part of my identity go. BUT it doesn't mean that part of me is gone or that I can't go back to it in the future. Taking time away from it and creating space will allow me to fully embrace who I've become in both my life, in Smeeny, and here in the Stay Wild Squad community. 

Not letting go of old identities, habits, and patterns often prevents us from taking chances or making big changes in our lives that probably should have happened a long time ago. 

It's why so many people dream of starting that hobby but end up sitting and scrolling on Instagram instead, 

or dream of starting that business but get caught in the ideas and “planning” phase but never actually start, 

or dream of checking off that bucket list trip but something always comes up or there's always an excuse of why they “can't right now.”  

Growth and change is scary and sometimes we don't let ourselves release old layers that we shed long ago. It's why I still have that UC Davis Food Science sweater shirt that I never wear, but can't bear to get rid of either. But just because you shed that layer doesn't mean that part of you goes away. 

It's still there and it's how you got to where you are now.